


Choose Your Own Inquisitor

by blackglass, Hananobira, Kess, Opalsong, RsCreighton, SomethingIncorporeal



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Choose Your Own Adventure, M/M, Multi, Other, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-11-29 23:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11451336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hananobira/pseuds/Hananobira, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kess/pseuds/Kess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingIncorporeal/pseuds/SomethingIncorporeal
Summary: A Choose Your Own Adventure story, DAI style.





	Choose Your Own Inquisitor

**Skip to the end of this file if you want to be spoiled for certain story tags to avoid major character death or end up with the pairing of your choice.**

**Choose Your Own Inquisitor**

[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%20Opening.mp3)

**By Hananobira  
** **Read by RsCreighton as the Inquisitor  
** **blackglass as Solas  
** **Kess as Josephine  
**Opalsong as The Iron Bull  
**SomethingIncorporeal as Sera******

* * *

Download (right-click and save as) as a single-file [podbook/m4b](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Audiobooks/Dragon%20Age/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor.m4b) or as a [zipped mp3 collection](http://blackglass.parakaproductions.com/podfic/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor.zip). (Thanks to paraka for hosting!)

 **01.**  
  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2001.mp3)

It is a lovely day in Skyhold. A few fat fluffy clouds hover in an indigo sky. You stand before the main gates, a steady stone in a river of people streaming past on foot, horseback, and cart. Where will you go first?

_To relax for a bit at Herald’s Rest,play part 02._  
_To head out to retrieve an herb that Mother Giselle needs for the refugees,play part 06._  
_To check in with Josephine on the latest news,play part 15._

* * *

**02.  
**   


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2002.mp3)

**[pub music]**  
  
“Oi, Inquisitor, over here!” Sera calls across the crowded room, waving and bouncing in her chair.

You buy an ale and shove your way past two completely soused Chargers to take a seat at her table.

“How are you this fine day, Sera?”

“Better now that you’re here to help. Here’s the plan. Things have been a little too quiet around here lately, and we’re going to shake them up a bit.”

“I’m listening.”

“Okay, so, Blackwall? Such a stuck-in-the-mud. And whew! does he ever need a good dunk in the Upper Lake. Inquiring minds want to know: how often DOES he bathe? We are going to find out. You are going to distract him while I smear some rotted apple mush in his beard. I’m betting he doesn’t notice the smell, but the bees certainly will -- bees are brilliant like that. Then we count the days until he is no longer an apiarian feast.”

You agree to help with the prank. But how are you going to pull it off?  
_To wait at Herald’s Rest until he comes in for his evening ale,play part 03._  
_To hunt him down at the stables,play part 04._  
_To catch him returning to his rooms,play part 05._

* * *

**03.  
**

[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2003.mp3)

[pub music]

You should have known better than to get roped into any of Sera’s plots. “You wait here,” she’d said. “The apples are in the kitchens. I had to… convince one of the scullery maids to leave them sitting in the back of a cupboard for a couple of weeks to get nice and squishy. I can be very convincing when I want to, ya know? I convinced her all… night… long.”

That was an hour ago, you are on your third mug of ale, and there’s been no sign of her since. You are just beginning to wonder if you should head out in search of her when a handful of Chargers pour through the front door, laughing uproariously. When they see you, they begin laughing even louder. Abandoning your drink, you dash out the door.

Everything seems to be in order in your chambers and, except for a maid who startles and nearly drops her broom when you throw the door open, there is no one and nothing in the war room. You try to look casual as you stride at speed past the practice grounds -- nothing looks out of place there either -- and head for the stables.

It is even worse than you’d suspected. Your war nug (your poor steadfast, loyal, uncomplaining war nug!) is now bright magenta. Her hooves have been painted with lavender glitter, and there is a satin purple ribbon bow tied at a jaunty angle around her left horn. “We prettied her up for you! She’ll out-fancy even the toffiest of toffs at the ball. You’re welcome,” reads the note on her stable door.

You groan and bury your head in the nug’s shoulder. In two days’ time, you will be riding a violently pink war nug to a diplomatic ball in Orlais.

The nug carries on chewing its hay, indifferent to the fashion disaster it has become.

 **[Sera mocking laugh]** The End!

* * *

**04.  
**

[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2004.mp3)

[bee buzzing]

The prank goes off without a hitch. For the next two weeks, Blackwall is followed by a curious bee or two wherever he goes. He wonders aloud in a strategy session about where they’re all coming from. Keeping a straight face is more difficult than anything you’ve ever done in your life, including killing Corypheus’ red lyrium dragon. Sera doesn’t even bother to try fighting it; she falls out of her chair laughing.

 **[Sera giggling noise]** The End!

* * *

**05.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2005.mp3)

You know what they say about the best-laid plans of fennecs and men. You and Sera stroll casually down the halls towards Blackwall’s rooms, fortunately encountering no one along the way. “You keep a look out,” Sera whispers, as she pulls a small leather case out of… you’re not going to inquire too closely where. She makes short work of the lock, the tumblers turning over with the softest of clicks, as she swings the door open…

...releasing the foulest stench you have been unfortunate enough to smell. (Excepting possibly that time you had to clear that drakestone mine of the giant spiders. Before you’d arrived to save the mine, the spiders had killed seventeen miners and left their oozing, decomposing corpses hanging from webs in the depths of the caves. Compared with the olfactory assault you are currently being subjected to, you almost envy the miners their fate.)

“Andraste’s voluptuous tits, what is that smell?” Sera gasps, recoiling from the doorway.

The battle-hardened warrior you are, you manage to dart forward and pull the door closed with a bang before the smell renders you both unconscious. The two of you stagger away, coughing and hacking. You’ll need to rethink this… after you bathe.

 **[Sera, sadly]** “The End.”

* * *

**06.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2006.mp3)

Forthwith you select a party to accompany you and saddling up your war nug, and soon you set forth from Skyhold in search of the felandaris Mother Giselle needs. After a few hours of riding, the path forks in two in front of you. Which direction will you go?

_To turn left,play part 07.  
To turn right, play part 08._

* * *

**07.  
**   


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2007.mp3)

**[nature noises]**  
  
You direct everyone down the left branch. A few days later, you have arrived in the Hinterlands. No matter how hard you search, there is no sign of the felandaris plant you seek. You do, however, harvest an astonishing amount of elfroot.

Weeks pass as you wander the Hinterlands. You gather more elfroot. After a while, you come to love the elfroot. Its leaves are so pleasingly large and… leafy. Its stalk stands so firm and proud.

You haven’t eaten anything but elfroot for days. At first, you were somewhat bored of the taste, but now you know that elfroot is the perfect food. Its roots cure all minor ailments, including sore throats, flatulence, and even indigestion! You make a mental note to yourself that, should you ever make it out of the Hinterlands, you must set everyone in Skyhold on an all-elfroot diet.

Solas is the first to succumb. “The sun is so bright, so warm, so calm... Why don’t we just rest here for a while? We should follow the example of the elfroot and find peace.”

Slowly, your party is transformed into elfroot. You turn your leafy large leaves to the sun, stalks standing firm and proud, rooted to the spot by your miraculous healing roots.

One day, years in the future, a hero stumbles across five strangely tall elfroot plants in the middle of a meadow. He had come to the Hinterlands on a mission to save the world, but he decides to accept this side quest and travel to Skyhold to learn the history behind these eerie, mournful plants. Unlocking your story earns him 1,025 XP and 300 Influence.

 **[Solas, tranquilly]** “The End.”

* * *

**08.  
**

[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2008.mp3)

[storm/surf noises]

You direct your party down the right branch. A few days later, you have arrived at the Storm Coast. As you stand on the rocky shore, pausing for a moment to admire the tossing waves, a large shadow passes over your head.

“That was a dragon, Boss! It landed just beyond that cliff. We should chase after it!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re no good to Mother Giselle and all the wounded villagers if we get eaten by a dragon.”

“Did you see the wingspan on that thing? What a beauty! We can’t let an opportunity like this pass us by.”

What do you choose?  
_To attack the dragon with a dagger,play part 09._  
_To cast Blizzard on the dragon,play part 10._  
_To keep searching for the felandaris,play part 11._  
_To fuck the dragon,play part 14._

* * *

**09.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2009.mp3)

You and your party make your way furtively around the curve of the cliff. Barely daring to breathe, you tiptoe up to the dragon from behind. The moment you are in range, you strike the dragon on the right side with your dagger.

Why would you attack a dragon with a dagger???

Your dagger barely dents a scale on the dragon’s flank. It whirls around, flames curling around its mouth. It all ends so suddenly that you’re not sure whether it was the fire breath or the blow from its tail that kills you.

With the death of the Inquisitor, your world is slowly consumed by the Breach. Oops.

 **[dragon roar]  
[Bull, sadly.]** “The End.”

* * *

**10.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2010.mp3)

You and your party ascend the cliff and take your positions to attack the dragon. “On my mark,” you tell them. “Three… two… one… now!” The Blizzard spell shoots from your hand, encasing the dragon in a slick, glistening ice shell as your companions take aim. Dorian hits it with a series of progressively thunderous Lightning Bolts and Sera shoots every limb with an arrow to the knee.

**[battle sounds]**

“WOOHOO!” The Iron Bull yells gleefully as he throws himself at the dragon, axe whistling through the air.

**[dragon roar]**

The battle is long and hard-fought, but finally the victory is yours. With one last vigorous slash, Bull slices its throat open, cheering in triumph as its blood spurts out onto his head and chest. The dragon crashes to the ground with a thud loud enough to send a few small rocks tumbling down the nearby cliff. Its claws twitch convulsively a few more times, and then it falls still.

“That was so hot!” Bull says, yanking Dorian off his feet. He throws Dorian up against the dragon’s side, presses up against him, and muffles his protests with his tongue.

“Yes, well done,” you tell them. They are not listening.

“Fuck, so hot, I could fuck you right here on top of this dragon.”

There is a pause. You and Sera stand there for a second, uncertain what to do next. You need to loot the dragon and Sera needs to retrieve her arrows… but Bull and Dorian certainly don’t look like they’ll be moving any time soon.

Sera turns to you and waggles her eyebrows. “Hey, Inky, you wanna?”

“Why not?” you think. After all, what’s a little tongue action between friends?

You and Sera find your own comfortable spot, tucked up against one of the dragon’s legs, and kiss and kiss and kiss, as a soft haze mists down on you from the dove-grey sky.

 **[kissing noises] [moans]  
[Bull, satisfied]** “THE END!”

* * *

**11.**  
  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2011.mp3)

You don’t have time to fight a dragon--there are dying people who need your help. Ignoring Bull’s protests, you lead the party up the cliffs to continue your search for the felandaris. It takes another day and a half, but finally you find the ruins of an ancient dwarven temple where the veil between your world and the Fade is thin. The felandaris plants are growing through the remains of the central altar.

Bull uses his axe to dig them up and tries not to look too disappointed. Occasionally he can’t resist shaking his head and muttering, “She was so beautiful, too, never seen anything that glorious.”

When you return to Skyhold, you are welcomed by a grateful throng of villagers and Chantry sisters.

It has been a long, hard day of riding through the snow and you would like nothing more than to head straight to your chambers for a long, hot soak in the bath. But as you dismount your war nug, Solas approaches you.

“May I have a word with you in the library, Inquisitor?”

What do you choose?  
_To accompany Solas to the library,play part 12.  
To relax in your chambers, play part 13._

* * *

**12.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2012.mp3)

“What did you need to speak with me about?” you ask Solas, once the two of you have reached the library.

“As we were exploring that dwarven temple, I saw a very intriguing mosaic. It reminded me of an ancient text I read several months back… Ah, here it is!”

He pulls a leather-bound book, its cover faded and musty with age, from a shelf above his head.

“The dwarves, as you know, do not dream and lack all magical ability, so they cannot enter the Fade. It has always puzzled scholars how they came into the possession of the magical items that are found in their oldest temples, and why they bothered building temples in the first place when they are physically unable contact the supernatural world. Did they once have the ability to use magic, and somehow lost it? Did they hire priestesses of a different race, perhaps elves or humans, to carry out their religious rites?

I believe the mosaic I saw in that temple may provide a clue to the answer. It looked very similar to a drawing…”

**[page rustling noise]**

“...here. You see how the Paragon is depicted?”

Two hours later, Solas finally seems to run out of things to say.

“So this mosaic, the story about the dwarves -- how does this help us close the Breach?” you ask him.

“It doesn’t, or at least I don’t think it will. I just thought it was fascinating. An avenue for research at a later date.”

You strangle the first response that comes to mind and offer Solas a smile, admittedly a smile that is a little strained around the edges. “I see. Thank you for sharing that with me, Solas. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I shall retire for the night.”

“Oh? but there was one other book I need to show you!”

“I really must catch up on all the memos Leliana left for me while we were gone. You know Leliana -- there will be hell to pay if I get behind on my memos,” you lie, and eventually he lets you go.

That’s what you get for not listening to The Iron Bull. Being eaten alive by a dragon would have been unpleasant, but at least you would have been spared the lecture.

 **[Solas, droning]** “The End.”

* * *

**13.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2013.mp3)

Claiming exhaustion, you fend Solas off and head to your rooms.

You freeze in front of the door to your chamber, stuck by an uneasy premonition. Something isn’t right. There is someone in your rooms.

You mutter a quick Stealth and place a hand on the doorknob, slowly turning it and pushing the door inward to reveal… Josephine. Pulling your favorite pair of trousers out of your wardrobe and tossing them onto a pile of clothing on the bed.

“Aha! Got you!”

“Josephine?” you ask, dropping the Stealth spell.

She whirls to face you. “Inquisitor! You’ve returned early.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, you see…” She bites her lip. “All right, I suppose I must be honest. It’s just that, Inquisitor, well, you are the face of the Inquisition. And in many places around the world, particularly Orlais and Tevinter, that carries certain expectations. You have an image to maintain. It hurt the Inquisition’s cause when you dress so…”

“Practically?”

“Slovenly. So, and I hope you’ll forgive me for this, but while you’ve been away on the past few missions, I’ve snuck into your rooms and upgraded your clothing. Nothing too flashy, of course -- I know you’re not cut out for the haute couture of Val Royeaux, nor would I want to dress you up in whatever buffoonery passes for fashion in Tevinter these days. Mostly I’ve been going through your wardrobe and tossing out anything torn or ripped and replacing it with slightly nicer versions of the same thing. A silk shirt here, Avvar twill trousers there…”

Now that she mentions it, you had wondered where the dragon webbing vest had come from. You’d figured it was tribute from a grateful village you’d rescued from being menaced by ogres or something.

“Wait, did you take my lucky panties too?!”

“...were those the pink ones with the lace that was torn halfway up the left side?”

“Well, white originally, but one of the washmaids at Haven was new to her job.”

“They looked like they’d fall apart if you sneezed!”

“But they were insanely comfortable! And I fought my way through the Fallow Mire in those panties! They were good for fighting zombies in.”

“My apologies. I had no idea they had such sentimental value for you.”

You harumph. It is going to take you ages to wear in a new pair of lucky panties.

 **[Josephine, sheepishly]** “The End.”

* * *

**14.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2014.mp3)

You choose to fuck the dragon. Whatever, we do not kink-shame here.

You ascend the slope overlooking the dragon. As you approach, it whirls to face you, releasing a menacing growl and snorting out a few gusts of smoke.

“Magnificent, isn’t she?” Bull breathes.

“Indeed she is,” you say.

The dragon crouches back on its haunches as if in preparation for charging you.

“Hey, beautiful, come here often?” you call.

The dragon stops short and tilts its head in confusion.

“Uhhh, Inky, Bull?” Sera asks. “What are you doing?”

“Just appreciating the lovely view,” Bull says, with a wink in the dragon’s direction. The dragon preens under your appreciative gazes.

Sera and Solas trade glances.

“I suppose we could set up camp and wait for you two to… conclude your business?” Solas suggests.

“Yeah, we’ll be waiting at Storm’s Solitude until you two finish… whatever it is you’re doing here,” Sera agrees. They turn sharply and head back north towards the Inquisition camp at a pace that is not quite fast enough to be called a run but is definitely a hasty jog.

“Must be lonely out here on the Storm Coast all by yourself. Care for some company?”

The dragon dips its head, blinking coquettishly and breathing a few coy puffs of steam at both of you.

Long-distance relationships are hard, but somehow the three of you manage to make it work. The dragon is always sad to see you go off to battle, but that makes your reunions all the sweeter. Once you have sealed the final Breach and brokered peace between the warring human factions, you and Bull return to the Storm Coast and build a lovely little cabin on the cliff overlooking the dragon’s nest, where you spend the rest of your days raising a brood of adorable dragon-Qunari-human hybrids.

 **[Bull, sexily]** “The End.”

* * *

**15.**  
  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2015.mp3)

You find Josephine in her office. “Good morning, Lady Montilyet!”

“Inquisitor! What a pleasant surprise. How may I help you?”

“I just thought I would check in regarding the ball in Emprise du Lion. You anticipate being gone for three weeks, yes? In your absence, should I hand all diplomatic business off to Leliana?”

“Ah, yes, about the ball. I have a favor to ask of you. You have heard about the Tevinter magister who just arrived last week, have you not? Well, he and Dorian have been glaring daggers at each other all week. I’m afraid if I leave town, the Inquisition might end up at war with the Imperium by the end of the week without me to keep them both occupied on opposite sides of the fortress.

“Furthermore, new refugees are pouring in to Skyhold every day, and the quartermaster is becoming quite desperate to find enough food and clothing for them all. She is pressuring me to negotiate deals with merchants who frequent the nearby villages to bolster our supply chains.

“I’m afraid it’s simply not possible for me to leave Skyhold at this point in time. Which is where the favor comes in. Would you represent the Inquisition in Emprise du Lion in my place?

You clear your throat. “I’m hardly a diplomat, my lady. Are you sure I am qualified for the task?”

Josephine laughs like the tinkle of silver bells. “You may be more qualified than I! Every noble in Orlais will be jockeying for a chance to speak to the infamous Herald of Andraste, if only to have a tale to gloat about over tea at their salon. Simply refrain from challenging anyone to a duel to the death over your honor, and you will do more in one evening to advance the Inquisition’s cause in Orlais than I could do in a week of careful negotiations.”

“No duels to the death? I suppose I can manage that. An Orlesian ball does sound highly entertaining. All right, I’ll go.”

She dips her head at you. “You have my gratitude, Inquisitor. Now, if you are going to make it in time, you must leave by tomorrow.”

What will you do first?  
_To ask Josephine for help with what to wear to the ball,play part 16._  
_To ask Solas to accompany you to Orlais,play part 17._  
_To ask Dorian and Bull to accompany you to Orlais,play part 18._

* * *

**16.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2016.mp3)

“I’m afraid my understanding of Orlesian fashion is not up to par. What should I wear?”

Josephine runs her gaze up and down your body. “We are not that dissimilar in size. I may have a robe that will fit you, with some quick alterations. Accompany me to my quarters?”

You acquiesce and follow her down the hall and up a few flights of stairs to her rooms. She gestures you in ahead of you then crosses the room to open the wardrobe along the far wall.

 **[muttering]** “Now, where did I leave it…”

**[cloth rustling]**

“Aha! Here, try this on.” She hands you a green tunic elaborately embroidered with silver thread.

You shrug your armor off and, for lack of a better place to put it, set it on the rug in the center of the room. Then you begin pull your current tunic over your head.

“Oh! My apologies!” Josephine whirls around to face away from you as you change.

**[cloth rustling]**

“Done.”

She spins around to face you, and is it your imagination, or are her eyes lingering on how the tunic stretches over your chest? **[clear throat]** “Orlesian fashion suits you… quite well.”

She turns and rummages through a chest at the foot of her bed. You might be imagining it, but her cheeks look slightly pinker than normal.

Seconds later, she pulls out a pair of stockings. “Try these on. They match the tunic perfectly, although I worry they will not fit properly because your legs are… very…”

Josephine had raised her hand to pass the stockings to you and you had raised your hand to accept them from her, but somehow the motion has stalled out halfway through. There is a pause where you both stand there, staring at each other. Then, softly, you take the stockings from her. You lean over to set them gently on the bed, then turn back and reach out to pull her into your arms. She goes eagerly, and you are delighted to learn the shape of her lips against your own.

One thing leads to another, and you don’t have time to finish packing. It means weeks on the road without a waterproof cloak to keep the rain off, but even squelching down the road in wet stockings can’t wipe the smile off your face.

“The End.”

* * *

**17.**  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2017.mp3)

You take Solas to Emprise du Lion with you, because out of your available options, he’s one of the few who both wears a full set of clothing in public and bathes regularly -- and the Orlesians aren’t put off by the didacticism. This turns out to be a wise decision.

After two days on the road, you stumble across a mother bear and her cub lapping water from a river. Before you can even wrench your sword from its sheath, the mother is charging at you with a roar of protective fury.

**[bear roar]**

Solas raises his staff. **[shouting]** “Buy me some time, Inquisitor! I’ll try to scare her off with a Mind Blast.”

You try to force the bear back with a series of offensive thrusts, ducking under her guard to nick her with the tip of your sword whenever you can while still staying out of range of her claws and teeth.

**[bear & fight noises]**

But the riverbank is a terrible place for a fight; your feet keep slipping on the smooth, wet rocks that line its shores. Eventually the inevitable happens and you miss a step, landing on your back with a jolt that lights up every nerve in your body with the agony of an Energy Barrage.

There is no time even to shriek in pain. You throw yourself to the side, dodging the bear’s massive down-swiping paw. By some miracle, you yourself manage to avoid the mortal blow… but your purse is not so fortunate. You watch in horror as the leather pouch shreds open under the bear’s deadly claws and every coin in your possession washes down the river.

“Duck! Now!”

**[magic noise]**

You dive into the water just in time to miss the emerald-green crackle of the spell heading past you. The bear is thrown ten feet back, bellowing in pain as it hits the water.

**[bear roar]**

“We can’t win this fight, Inquisitor. We’ve got to get away before it comes at us again.”

“I can’t leave! I’ve lost all my coin. We need to collect it.”

“There’s no time for that. Leave it!”

“But--”

“I’ll get you the coin back. I promise. Now run!”

 **[frustrated]** “Argh!” You clamber to your feet and sprint for the woods overlooking the river. You and Solas duck behind a tree, watching as the bear pulls herself to her feet, a mountain of fur quaking as she shakes herself free of the water. She pauses for a moment, considering her options: she glances left to her prey, then right to her cub, then back to the left again. Eventually she decides that you have been adequately cowed and she gives you one more warning growl before trotting over to her baby and hustling it up the hill away from you. Moments later, the pair disappears into the woods on the far side of the river.

 **[sigh]** “My coin’s probably halfway to the Waking Sea by now.”

“I said I’d get you your coin back. All we need to do is find a large enough inn. I believe we passed one about three miles back?”

Bemused, you follow Solas back the way you’d come to the bustling inn you’d passed earlier this morning. He throws the door open and surveys the room.

**[pub noises: music, dishes clattering, etc.]**

His glance falls upon a table of three brawny men, Templars by the looks of their armor, playing Diamondback to the right. “Yes, this will do. Here, Inquisitor, take some of my coin and buy us both some ale. Make yourself comfortable, because we might be here for a while.” 

Chin high, he marches over to the three men. As the barkeeper pours your drinks, you watch Solas carefully, ready to leap to his side if things get ugly. The Templars look him up and down, clearly not impressed by the skinny elf mage interrupting their card game, but whatever he says gets them to grudgingly open up room for him to pull an extra chair up to the table and deal him in.

And now you can do nothing but find an open seat at the bar and wait. And wait. You’ve never learned the rules of Diamondback, but it seems for the first three rounds that Solas is losing a dismaying amount of what little money he carries. But soon after that the tide turns. The Templars begin to throw down their hands with increasing irritation at the end of each round, and the pile of gold at Solas’s elbow grows taller and taller and taller. By the time the burliest of the Templars shoves back from the table and drags his friends off, Solas has won back every sovereign you’d lost.

You can’t believe it. Blackwall was right. Solas really is a shark at Diamondback.

 **[satisfied]** “The End.”

* * *

**18.**  
  


[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%2018.mp3)

You have forgotten the first rule of living with Dorian and Bull: always send a messenger to hunt them down; never go after them yourself. Those unwary unfortunates who happen to stumble upon them when they are otherwise occupied tend to regret it.

 **[grunting]** “Fuck, yeah, Dorian, bounce your tight ass on my cock. Look at you drooling around that gag. You love it, don’t you? Love being tied down and gagged and stuffed full of my cock.”

You do not run, but you do walk at a very brisk pace indeed back down the corridor from whence you came.

**[sex noises]**

“I should have known from the day you made that joke that this was what you wanted. You were made for this, you know? Made to wear my collar and leash.”

You slam the door to their hallway shut. **[door slam]** Ahead of you, a maid holding a stack of clean bedsheets stops in her tracks, arrested in her attempt to get through the door.

“Don’t go in there. Dorian and Bull are… busy.”

She grimaces in comprehension and makes a sharp about-face, heading back towards the laundry room, presumably to find a task that will require her to spend several hours on the other side of the keep.

Okay, so Dorian and Bull can't go with you on your next mission. What will you do now?  
_To ask Josephine for help with what to wear to the ball,play part 16.  
To ask Solas to accompany you to Orlais, play part 17._

 

* * *

[Streaming: (click link for mobile streaming)](http://opalsong.parakaproductions.com/podfic/Dragon%20Age/CYOI/Choose%20Your%20Own%20Inquisitor%20Closing.mp3)

**THE END [all together]**

**Author's Note:**

>  **BEWARE SPOILERS**  
>  Don't look down here unless you want to be spoiled for the endings.
> 
>  
> 
> Major Character Death Ending  
> 6 -> 8 -> 9
> 
> Major Character Death Ending 2  
> 6 -> 7
> 
> Bull/Dorian Smexytimez Ending  
> 15 -> 18
> 
> Josephine/Inquisitor Smexytimez Ending  
> 15 -> 16
> 
> Sera/Inquisitor Sloppy Makeouts Ending  
> 6 -> 8 -> 10
> 
> Bull/Inquisitor/Dragon Ending  
> 6 -> 8 -> 14
> 
> Sound Effects Credits:  
> -Scene 1: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO0tlWeoUmc)  
> -Scene 2: [Music: "Sera Was Never"- DA:I OST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7Zkun0tJc4), [ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv3Nl-Od9YU)  
> -Scene 3: [Music: "Companions"- DA:I Trespasser OST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkKNYyOdj-M), [Pub ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv3Nl-Od9YU), Skyhold ambience ([1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RERi6EuaMTk), [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO0tlWeoUmc), [3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIDCZwkzCIA))  
> -Scene 4: [Bees??](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kc6fjIEV3s)  
> -Scene 5: [Footsteps](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RERi6EuaMTk), [lock sounds](http://freesound.org/people/qubodup/sounds/192057/), [door opening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh9RHc0uqDs), [coughing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mcpuDVN6lQ)  
> -Scene 6: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIvykxZ0ppQ)  
> -Scene 7: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b-CbfUCBks)  
> -Scene 8: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF16bD5o9NA)  
> -Scene 9: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF16bD5o9NA), [dragon sounds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH6oi5yjB4s)  
> -Scene 10: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF16bD5o9NA), [dragon battle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5I9_fLLCFM), [kissing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs2oPE5vFKI)  
> -Scene 11: [Storm Coast ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF16bD5o9NA), [dwarf ruins ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-_itSW_jXI), [Skyhold ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO0tlWeoUmc)  
> -Scene 12: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pWT7ywgI0k), [page flipping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ILAMR1h5rM)  
> -Scenes 13 & 16: Clothing sound effects ([1](http://freesound.org/people/bewagne/sounds/187608/), [2](http://freesound.org/people/sportygurl37/sounds/120211/), [3](http://freesound.org/people/duckduckpony/sounds/204016/))  
> -Scene 14: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF16bD5o9NA)  
> -Scene 15: [Ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQPdYRh3CME)  
> -Scene 17: [River ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UUxIe-DrY8), [bear fight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRuJqs75JyE), [grizzly roar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sKwaolP1G8), [magic sound effects](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7aKzi6VwsU), [Pub ambience](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv3Nl-Od9YU), [Music: "Nightingale's Eyes (French version)"- DA:I OST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQRD3nqjM2I)  
> -Scene 19: [Footsteps](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RERi6EuaMTk), [door slam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6NX85h2230)


End file.
